In Paris I had a root canal and an ear cleaning. The next thing that's going to be done to me is going to be so ridiculous that you'll wonder how fun it is to be me. I'll detail what it is after it happens and after I start feeling the awful, awful pain.
I've felt kind of anxious the past few days, but I don't think it's more than 50% about this surgery. It's about the past semester and about this summer. Today I managed to wipe off the sticky mess of anxiousness and get to work, cleaning up my desk area to the point where it looked decently organized. That finally happened after spending a morning and half an afternoon extremely bored out of my mind. I finished the graphics I started working on last night, and apart from that today I didn't really do much of anything. Listened to music, played music, sang music. I did my pushup routine without the crunches and felt the soreness in my chest as I struggled to wolf down my dinner. Paced back and forth. Our dog must have wondered what was going on. I put more stuff in the blue New England Patriots storage plastic locker box thing (eventually I have to put "thing" to denote my uncertainty as to how skillful my description is) we have on the porch (well, it used to be a porch) and thus made it hopefully easier for me to finally convince myself to get back to work on finishing up the paper my team started and should've finished last summer but didn't have the time to. After that (provided it actually gets finished, or provided I feel like I've done enough) I intend to get back to work on Japanese, memorizing Kanji and going through Kansai's Spring 2K9 Level 5 Speaking textbook, and once I can move without feeling pain again, it's time to establish an awesome exercise routine. And find something to put on my resume for the summer.
Honestly, if it weren't for the resume thing to worry about, I probably could feel alright spending a whole summer learning Japanese and bettering myself physically. But unfortunately that's not how things go. Admittedly I don't have to worry about money but I could probably do without buying much of anything, which would require I learn how to cook a diverse selection of dishes, which would be very good for me for the upcoming year in which I hope to be doing that every day for every meal so that I can fully control my diet (ok, Tufts' dining halls let you do that but I'd like to learn how to live without them, regardless of the usually pretty good taste) and feel accomplished otherwise.
Do I have a routine now, surgery aside? Yes, but it's the kind of routine described in the title: one that doesn't repeat very often and one that, uh, kind of encourages me to step around things rather than to get to the point of things. For instance I have intended to email someone who is a dental surgeon currently aiming for something pretty high up I forget, who I was talking to on the plane coming from London to Boston... yeah I should've done that more than a week ago after I got back. But I didn't. Still have his email address though so I surely will email him. Just when? Also I have to email my professor to ask if I can get my paper with stuff written on it back from him. I have been avoiding both of those emails for awhile, and also I probably have other stuff I should be getting to as well. Phooey.
I get really tired before midnight nowadays. That'll help me wake up at 6 AM, ugh, check-in time at 7 AM why are you guys making me wait it out like that???
They didn't take a blood test at the pre-surgery appointment because they said I looked "so healthy" that it wasn't necessary. Well, let's hope that's okay. In related events my mom told me I should've gone to church by myself this morning because I didn't make it in time to go with her and my grandmother on Saturday evening. Ugh, no thanks, I don't want to hear the pastor with his horrendous 大げさな話し方 (exaggerated speaking style). All the other priests we had talked in the usual boring voices you'd hear in any church, and all of a sudden the new one talks like that. The content is probably decent but I generally take that time to talk to myself.
Isn't that last bit odd? It's part of the routine... the routine that involves a lot of pacing back and forth in my head, and if I'm not at mass, a lot of pacing back and forth in the house. Getting nothing done. At least half the time I can keep it in my head, whereas my dad generally starts speaking out loud regardless of whether there might be people nearby.
I was thinking to myself on the road tonight and I realized that I have combined my desire to be reassured that I'm doing fine and dandy with my sexual desire. These are not two good things to combine because once you do that they're so hard to separate. And then I just basically think about sex because I'm a guy, and I forget it's really the former thing that's bothering me. Hopefully I'll keep these two things separated when I need them to be that way.
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