Green tea ice cream

So my sister said in a tri-hallway-walking conversation that green tea ice cream was better than green tea. I disagreed, saying that green tea was better than green tea ice cream, and adding that I don't like green tea ice cream. This brings me back to April vacation in Japan when Tiki showed me around Uji and we had green tea ice cream together. (Well, he had some super cone that had hazelnuts in it, so I couldn't have it, and the ice cream's flavor might've been different.) I told him I loved it. And I did. The mountain air around me, the warm spring temperature, the silently flowing river shielded from my view at that point by the bridge that traverses it... topped off by the green tea ice cream I ate with my small clear plastic spoon off the cone, as I would and anyone would in Japan.

Then later on I was having a conversation with somebody and I said I didn't like green tea ice cream. "But I thought Tiki said you went and had it with him and you liked it." My reply: "Yeah, I did, but..." I forget the rest of the reply. Let me think... what did I say? I think I said "...but it wasn't really that great."

A short sample of how honesty can be lost in the flavors of life, or maybe rather how the concept of honesty can disappear when your sense of taste changes depending on how your other senses change. Or something. It's confusing.

I'm probably high on painkillers (as prescribed) but I don't think it's changing this freewrite too much. I am more relaxed than usual, though, and less on edge about making the usual "freewrite point" that I try to make when I write a freewrite. You know when you're writing an essay and you can tell whether you're satisfied by when you notice you've written something that feels like you're striking a gong and you've hit exactly the right spot to get the perfect sound? Yeah, something like that. But all in all, if you give me green tea ice cream again, I think I can tell you whether I like it.

As for the green tea ice cream story that's strictly confined to Japan, well, it struck me when I was in Japan because I had just gotten thrown in my face again the question of whether I'm being honest. This time by myself, I threw it in my own face. But it was thrown in my face by someone just prior to that visit to Japan, specifically about 5 days before. "That's really dishonest" said he. At this point in this freewrite, right now, I feel a slight tension. I heard that same shit about 4 years ago. Again, I'm not as honest when I'm tired. Funny thing, though, because I don't think that's the whole truth. I don't know the whole truth to the honesty matter. That's part of the reason if not the major underlying reason I started this blog.

Because I think it was honest, what I said. That was my heart speaking, if only after my brain spoke.

Wonder what it'll say next. Now I'm (still) tense.