Instantane

Just now I did a few "perfect pushups" (with those rotating grips, you know. PS Don't buy Push-Up Pro because those never stay in one place) and stomach crunches; I limited myself for the day because I did a lot of exercise the day before. I took my shirt off and I went outside on our front steps and the cool was nice. But the cool didn't cool down the front of my body, which had heated up due to the strain upon it. So I decided to lay face down on the top, wide-enough granite step and allow the coolness to soak into my body (or the hotness to soak out. Physics aside...). I was swimming on stone. The alternative would be to take a dip in the sea. The water is too cold now but I don't care. I dipped in Marseille and it was nice, even when it was only May.

I'm too exhausted to correct the words I use because my arms, yeah. Actually, I just clarified the last sentence. But anyway...

I wonder what people think when they drive by and see somebody lying flat out on their driveway. A corpse? My reply: a human. But where I live nobody drives by on the street so it wasn't a problem. This isn't the happy-days era either, so nobody's outside in their yards being social with each other either. I just used "either" twice in that sentence but I think it makes sense. Wait, this makes less sense: why aren't we in our yards being social? Internet and TV and phone conversations aren't full-on what-we-need human communication. But I guess we resort to these, scared. Scared of communication. Not so much scared of interaction as much as communication.

Communication is also something I am scared about. Somebody didn't get this about me and asked me about it, and I guess I don't get it myself. You know, I try. But we all have that little Samantha inside of us. Samantha is our dog. We got her when our (well, I guess my) uncle died and she was left behind all alone in the doghouse outside. She's very undoglike (犬らしくない). She's scared of everything. Whenever she sees something moving she runs away from it. She doesn't like playing or catching balls or moving around. Maybe it's just because she's a female dog and I haven't seen too many of those, but I don't know.

When I was lying chest-down on the wide granite step I was thinking to myself about human progress and how it's possible for me to do such a thing. I could do something similar inside if I wanted to, like lie down on a cool couch with cool air-conditioning. That's what I'd have to do if it were like 7 PM and the mosquitoes were out. Actually, it's just about 7 PM now and it's still sunny. Go summer! But anyway, imagine if I were a human way back when, with very limited possibilities of communication or means to obtain knowledge, and I tried to do that to please my body and fell asleep, and the next morning I woke up with many, many mosquito bites. Imagine if I thought it would be the same as if I were in my cave or my hut, where I'd have a fair number of mosquito bites anyway. Yeah. But now, I can go without any mosquito bites. And now I can go and live in this house. I have no idea how it was constructed; other people constructed it. I guess my thoughts were all about the sacrifices that people make for other people to get a situation that ends up being more rewarding for each individual. And then I thought about animals, and how we realized, well, they didn't really help out in the whole progress thing, so I guess we're better than them. And plus, we need to eat something anyway, so, voilà, instant separation.

Reminds me of fighting between political action groups, including ones that aren't necessarily opposed to each other. Well, they're not all completely opposed to each other; all in all they all want happiness, and we call the people who don't want happiness medically depressed or medically something else.

I guess one thing I believe is that whatever it means getting happiness, it means reducing others' stress upon you and ainsi not putting stress on others. As much as possible. The Golden Rule says don't do to other people what you wouldn't want to be done to yourself. But it's increasingly true that I don't know what I want to be done to me. Hence I take the limit, the contrapositive and, with my Filipino accent, say just don't do to others. Because the best approach is just to not try to mess things up.

Life isn't a series of proof by contrapositives, though. Good thing there's math. The anti-life?

I guess "anti-social" is better than anti-life. Social situations can be violent, too, so sometimes that means being more peaceful?

Look at how I'm going back and forth with opposites and negatives in the wordplay above. This freewrite is too dichotomous. If that's not a word, that's propisterous.

Is everything eponymous?