Indecision/Confused Alex - Indecision confused Alex

Now I am having massive regrets over going to Paris last semester and not returning to Hirakata, Japan, where I had so much fun in the fall semester. I did not have too many of these regrets when I was in Paris, because I was always expecting it would reach a plateau of amazing awesomeness like Japan did. No, Paris never even came close. Sorry guys, it just wasn't as fun there. And I'm regretting not being able to pull the trigger on that decision - in the end I decided to go to Paris for two reasons, both of them fundamentally weak: 1) because that was my original plan and 2) because I had some insecurities over my social situation in Japan. Funny thing, I realized how stupid #2 was the instant (well, a few days after) I told my mom to send the check off to the Paris program. Friendship is a thing that takes time, and for me not to remember and understand this was the lamest thing ever. Why couldn't I have been more decisive and gone with the positive choice, to trust in and return to someplace I found so fun?

Because that just isn't me, I guess. And that's the regret I have - my indecision.

However, there's a very important irony to this. It was fundamentally indecision that got me to Kansai Gaidai in the first place. I couldn't decide what I was doing for study abroad until basically the last second, when the deadlines for the Kyoto programs had passed and for almost all full-year programs. That's why I ended up with Gaidai - it was the last thing open that wasn't IES. And oh man, that was the best indecision I ever made in my life. But the lesson here is this - you can only get lucky so often with indecision, and eventually you've got to listen to your gut, listen to your heart and jump for it. Hell yeah I got lucky by choosing to go to Gaidai. Gaidai was the perfect fit for me. Hell, Tufts was the perfect fit for me with my indecision on where to go to college. But eventually I'm going to have to decide - next stop, grad school. And this time I'll go with my gut.