It's midterm season. It's also fall, though. I don't like the fall at all, highly preferring the other three seasons (and summer most of all). It's beautiful, sure, but if it's gonna be cold, stay cold, so that I can feel the coldness in all my heart and rebel against it, well, wholeheartedly. How's that for an isomorphic sentence.
There's this one abstract algebra problem I can't solve and it's driving me nuts, just like most of the class generally does. I'm not good at this (relative to the other areas of math) and I don't have the energy anymore to be single and a mathematician at the same time. That's essentially what it comes down to, and I'm glad to admit it. I remember so many of those grad students getting married when I visited UChicago and Northwestern last summer - why do you think that is?
As far as getting married in grad school, I highly doubt I'll be that successful. If that's a definition of success. If I'm with some guy in Illinois of course it doesn't matter, unless he or I absolutely insist on getting married in Massachusetts or Iowa, or some other state where they pass laws through the courts nowadays. Haha, I'm so skeptical about government and protest movements nowadays that it relieves my skepticism on everything else. At least usually.
But yeah, this is getting tiring. I'm currently waiting on someone to stop leaving me hanging and be brave enough to call me back, whether his answer is "okay" or "no." He has until Friday, or probably tomorrow at which point I will probably call and smooth talk, which I may or may not be 上手 at. Either way, I'd find it amusing if he answered. It's like I don't exist. No-- it's like he doesn't exist, that's the right answer, but for some reason it gives me an awful feeling like I don't exist.
And this is the big problem that I'm stuck on that prevents me from attacking easier problems, which might lead me to never end up solving any of the later problems, and then solving the big one when it's too late. This is isomorphic to my abstract algebra homework. Why won't this fucking statement get proven? And yet I know the problems ahead of it are totally manageable... just like my NSF scholarship app.
Someday, I'll learn.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment